Tuesday, 20 November 2012

The Tree of life

 Thought I would share something that dawned on me the other day.
On the weekend I purchased a door mat.  It is a print of a tree.
I placed the tree so that when people come to the front door they can see the tree the right way around.
So I go out not long after I have placed it at the front door.

The Door matt
I get home and it is around the other way with the tree facing out so when you are leaving our front door you see the whole tree.  So I think to myself I thought I put it the other way.  Oh well I mustn't have. So I put it back again.

 I go out the next day and upon returning - What do I find? It has been turned around again!!! I turn it back.  Next day same again but this time as I am turning it around, the front door opens and my nineteen year old son is there and says "Mum, Stop turning it back around, it needs to be facing out. branches grow outward if they are the other way they dont grow"

 It was one of those wake up moments! What he was saying is so true and the funny thing is, it is a metaphor for the stage I am at with my boys.
Both my boys are growing up and branching out and I am having to let them go more and more each day.  I am struggling with this and the doormat incident is exactly what I am doing to them. Holding them back for my own purpose as I want to keep them safe and sound and close by me like when they were little.

My grown up boys
The last nineteen years of my life I have spent the majority of my time looking after the kids (as well as a part time job or business that worked around the school/activities hours)whilst it of course had its challenges, I loved and cherished the time and was so grateful I got to have that time at home with them .

 Now all of a sudden they have their drivers license, they are off doing their own thing and while I am still busy at the same time I have a lot more time to myself.
This is also a bit exciting for them and for me to see them explore life as I move into my next stage.
 While they were younger I did dream about the day I would have a bit more time to myself, now it is here I long to be crazy busy with them again!!! I see Mums picking up there kids from school and I feel very nostalgic.
I am definitely not moaning about it.  I know you busy Mums will being thinking what is wrong with her. 
I actually feel a lot calmer as our life is not just one big rush from here to there. I just have to get used to it and utilize the time.
Hubbie and me
 I need to find a new way of being me - A Mum of two fine young men, and wife to my hard working, now organic loving husband (another story for another time). 

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